Advice on BDSM and Kink with MS

This is not medical advice these is my advice based on my personal experiences. I welcome others to comment below on this blog to share your advice and experiences.

Here is a resource for you to look up any terms you may not know. BDSM Terms and Definitions.

Communication and Honesty

The most important thing in BDSM, in general, is communication, but even more so when you are dealing with someone with a disability. Talking about the challenges that could arise during the scene and preparing with clear safewords and be checking in with your partner throughout the scene. Talk about the things (assessable toys, pillows, water, meds) you will or might need during the scene BEFORE you start the scene and make sure you have everything you will need. Be sure to listen to your body, take breaks, and stop if you need to.

Find a partner who you love, trust, and will be sensitive to the challenges that may come with play (no different than any other D/s relationship). Be open when you are having a bad day and are not up for a scene to tell your partner and reschedule, even if it was something that has been planned. Sometimes your body does not corporate with your play schedule.

Know your Limits

It is important to know your limits and your partner’s play limits (hard limits- things they won’t do) when starting any D/s relationship or play scene. When playing with someone with a chronic illness or physical disability it is also important to review limits related to your/their illness.

Use Accessible Sex Toys and Devices

Toys can add to a sexual experience and/or feed a kink. They can also be used to aid couples (and individuals) in making certain sexual experiences possible when physical challenges arise.

Here are some great resourses for navigating sex and kink with a partner with a disabilty.

Accessable Sex Toys

wheelchairs are sexy

Dallas Novelty Sex Toys (Sex is for EVERYBODY) – This is a sex shop that was opened by Nick Mahler, an entrepreneur who is paralyzed, who wanted to make sex toys for people with disabilities.

Articles/Books

Ultimate Guide To Sex And Disability: For All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain, and Illness

The Pleasure and Pain of Being Disabled in the BDSM Community

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